I'm a little nervous, but SO VERY EXCITED!!! I have wanted a home birth for so long, but I didn't even attempt it with my last one (5th birth) because I'd had 2 previous c/s (I attempted a VBA2C, but not at home). Well, it might have been unavoidable, but he was my 3rd c/s. So this baby will be a VBA3C, at home and unassisted, since no midwives will take me!
I hate, I mean absolutely HATE, that women are being forced into this decision simply because of "hospital policy". Everyone is so afraid they're going to be sued, so they don't "allow" for women to even attempt a VBAC in a "safe" environment. Instead they schedule c/s after c/s while so many women just go along with it because they are uninformed. The "professionals" don't even consider the RISK of a c/s! The midwives won't take me either, even though I have had 2 previous vaginal births with no problems. It really stinks.
BUT!!!
From a spiritual perspective, I have really been feeling YHWH lead me to a home birth, and while I admittedly am still a tiny bit nervous about it, I can't wait to have the birth I have always dreamed of! When we were at Sukkot, a lady there was talking about home birth. She quoted 1 Timothy 2:15, which says the woman will be saved through childbearing. I'm not sure if what she said it means is really what it means in context, but the Father spoke to me through her. I just started crying. It was exactly what I needed to hear to overcome my fear and just decide to DO IT! I went back to our tent and told my husband about it. Seriously, *during the conversation*, the midwives at the local hospital where I was trying to get in called me and told me they were not going to take me. I accepted the news, hung up the phone and just bawled even more, knowing this was all from YHWH. I was crying tears of JOY. I really felt (and still believe) I truly received this message from Him, to have faith, not fear, and just go for it! I just need to TRUST HIM.
So that is our plan! I spoke with the doula/monitrice last night, and since there will not be a "professional" there at the birth, she is not going to continue as my doula. I'm a little disappointed, but I expected this to happen. Now I just need to find another doula or an experienced friend who will come and offer support. Or maybe not, I haven't really decided yet on that.
As a side note, I think my daughter might be a prophet. :) She just KNEW this baby was a girl, and she has been telling me for at least a couple of years that her sissy is going to be born at home. Matter of fact. This is just one example. She amazes me quite often.
I can't wait to share my beautiful HOME birth story!!!
